I'm considering sharing a little something from my journal here each week. I'm currently working on a book based on genuine sacred reflection, though I have no idea if there is any need for this book in the 'world.' It has however been gifted to me to work on, and so I attend to this work daily without thought of publication, like old 'John' would have. Let's see how this goes, as things are very busy here, and at this time it is just this being covering all the bases of Authentic Living, and of supporting myself and my family. You do what you can do with love and attention...
Here is an edit from an entry from this week. Let me know if you would like more like this, and I will try to incorporate some more sharings in to the work.
The Heart Finds Its Own Way
I have to admit I’ve been thinking like the Buddha did at first, like Christ questioning how he could talk to people, ‘for they just will not listen.’ I’ve been thinking of walking away from doing any kind of public classes.
The Wednesday meditation class is my bedrock. It is a space held for presence, and it also serves the work by allowing me to say I have a regular class, but every week, I question it’s existence. There is no ‘little me’ running the class, I know that it is only useful if it is a genuine space held in love and presence, and that it works despite me, but the numbers often don’t cover the room hire, and quite honestly I cannot run the class as a hobby, as a ego builder, as another thing just on the spiritual diary of the town.
But then five new people walk in, then five regulars. Once we have five the room is paid for, once there is ten, it covers a bit of our food bill for the week; usually we get between five and seven people. With this healthier number of people suddenly turning up, presence becomes strong in this container, and the class unfolds itself. I tell them about the children I guided in meditation at a primary school on Monday, how they put their hands on their hearts, and invite them to do the same. To feel their physical life, to know their emotional life - the difference between pain body emotions, and the genuine responsive emotions of being. In the quiet, I point to the sacred heart, the Hridayam, that is in each of us, and that is the love and beauty in each thing, even the space between each other, between things. I invite them to gently open their eyes and look around the room at each other without giving attention to any story of pain, or shame, or story from the voice in the head, to see each other from the Hridayam, from the true heart, from the three hearts of our human life.